For the past three months, I’ve been under more strain than I’ve been in . . . years, or ever maybe. It involves finances and protecting my children. So I’ve been stressed and more “mentally absent” than usual.
Yesterday my neighbor gave me some of her old art and craft supplies. In that was a bag of colored needlework floss, the kind I used to make friendship bracelets with. This morning I showed my oldest son, the one diagnosed with Asperger’s, how to make bracelets. My plan was to show him and then get my computer/finance work done.
Turns out it was difficult for him to do it on his own. He could do it, but two sets of hands were much more effective than one set of hands. I’m soooo proud to announce that I made the difficult decision to sit with my son. It was more difficult than one might imagine to sit and spend time with my child, with all the “stuff” to do . . . ya know. I went and got my coffee and sat with him and held each string as he knotted it around the next twice. I sat while he got fidgety and said, “I won’t let myself talk to my conscience because if I do, then I’ll be able to take a break, and I don’t want to take a break.” I sat with my son and took the most important thirty minutes of my day to be present with him. My other son is an incredible pianist, so while Michael and I were weaving the bracelet, Mason was creating a piano piece depicting a three-series Pokemon battle. His music soothes my soul for sure.
I’m smiling right now feeling great about my decision. I’m smiling right now thinking about how even after three months of worry, thirty minutes can shift my state of being. I’m smiling right now because my son has moved on to another type of weaving and is almost done with his next project. I’m smiling right now and it feels like it’s been way too long since I’ve smiled like this.