A Book of Vengeance

I have written many posts about my “traumas” and “difficulties”, but please know those events are the one’s that stand out as the LOUDEST moments. I share them with zest and desperation. They are not the majority of my time. This is a delightful and joyous story about my kids and the Book of Vengeance. The fascinating part is that this Book of Vengeance was created by my seven-year-old son. He started it because I gave him the standard allotment of screen time on an average day. He wanted more screen time and I said no. So the book was created for me. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. I mean, that was a pretty intense title for something directed at me by a seven-year-old child that I bore from my very own womb. And he created it because he wanted more of something he got plenty of. There it was, though, and that was OK.

He told Michael about it, who is my ten-year-old different-brained son. Off they went planning and creating and making lists, and oh good gracious, I was giggling at the partnership. They were allies and I was the target. HELP! I heard them saying things like “Prank List” and “Mommy” and “sleeping.” I truly had no idea what would happen, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get hurt. And so it went that one night Michael and Mason begged me to fall into a deep sleep before them. “Uh, Sweeties, I have to work tonight and I’m not able to do that.” Michael started crying because I derailed his brain-train. We ended up negotiating that I would set a very loud alarm that would wake them up before I got up. That worked because it is a struggle for me to get out of bed, and I could easily promise that I’d stay in bed, in a deep sleep, until they woke me up.

I heard the alarm, and let me tell you, it is difficult to be in a “deep sleep” with loud alarms and kids padding in and out of my room, all the while loudly whispering about what to do next. I heard baby powder, so I figured what was coming. And there it came, a huge blast of baby powder all over my neck and shoulder. Whhooooossshhh.

I kept pretending to sleep. Had I woken, Michael would surely have had a pretty big breakdown and then school would have been a difficulty for him—oh, the things I do for love and sanity. 🙂 I “woke up” a few minutes later with baby powder all over me, and I was like, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Those two kids HOWLED with laughter and giggles and sneakiness. I looked in the mirror with dramatic exclamations of, “How could you do this to your poor mother? You sneaky kids!” I put on my blackest of black shirts so I could display the awesome prank they played on me to their teachers. They loved it and so did I. 🙂

Oh, and if you see Michael—you are under obligation to NOT share my secret of actually being awake. Promise me!

Some of the items from the Materials Needed list: Poster board Sharpies Baby powder Tape Nyan cat Paper Markers

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